Earth Spirit

As you will come to know, on Earth Spirit and on my personal blog, I am a big lover of music. Any music really. I try my best not to discriminate. Now there are some types of music that I’m not exactly keen on listening to (yes, I’m looking at you Disco) but for the sake of being fair, I still try my hand at different types and styles of music. Music is a wonderful form of expression. A simple melody can convey so much more than what spoken words could. Even lyrics can explain more than what we could bother to construct in our daily lives. I have a tattoo actually that is based off my love for music. It’s on my upper left shoulder and I think it says a lot about who I am as a person and how important music is to me.

A couple of days ago, a South Korean rapper released his solo album (he teased us with the song Airbag beforehand) to great praise. I do mean, great praise. He’s known for his talent and the first part of his album definitely shows that. So I decided to listen to more of it and stumbled upon a song that I think would hit home with anyone who has had a bout of depression. Not so ironically, the title of the song is “Home.”

I feel the need to share it with you. It brings up a topic that seems quite hush hush in today’s society. Depression is not a game nor should it be taken lightly. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and can completely relate to this song. Depression does become a home. It does. But does it always have to be? Can the depressed get out of such a state?

Most, at the very least, say that you can. But those people tend to be the same who experience a small bout and never completely understand how depression can take hold of a life and kill it.  They will tell you that it’s easy. That only you have the power to pull yourself out of it. To be optimistic.

I’ve heard that a lot in my years when people began to realize that I did have a mental illness/ personality disorder. It’s something I heard almost any time I told someone part of my life story. People make it look easy. People make it seem easy. I don’t think anything is as hard or as taxing as waking up in the morning, putting a smile on your face and having to trudge through the day even though you feel like everything in you is broken.

It’s hard but not completely unbearable. I think, as a delve more into my faith and belief, I’ve found some pockets of relief from the sadness and the pain. Finding something to believe in, something to give me strength, it’s helped. I still have my times when I lose a bit of faith but then I receive a bit of a sign from the gods/goddesses watching over me and I feel a little less alone and sad. They became the permanent guests in my little “home” and I’m thankful that they decided to stay.

So enjoy Tablo’s music. Enjoy the message of it. But remember, the divine is with you and in you. The divine will understand.

As an eclectic practicing pagan, it’s quite hard to explain to some my beliefs. When most people think pagan, they think Wicca or Druid. It’s complete mystery to people when I say I take from all different types of belief in fit them into my core beliefs. So some beliefs may seem Christian (because they are), some beliefs may seem Buddhist (because they are) and some beliefs may even seem Wicca or Druid (because they are). I do not discriminate where beliefs and values come from. If I see that they can be applied to my life, of course I am going to add them to my core faith. Shouldn’t that be what faith should be? Finding all the traditions and values that fit to you and work in how you wish to believe. We make those values and traditions. The Divine only gives us what to work with.  We are the ones to make that connection.

Connection. Connection is the basic key to any relationship. Be it with your faith, the Divine, your work, your relationships, your sexuality, yourself and a plethora of other things. I’ve come to learn that connection is what is most important. I’ve had long talks with my grandmother (who is a very serious Christian), when I formally renounced being a Christian at age 15, about my exploration into the Pagan faith. At first, she was very confused and almost thought of it as a joke. But I began to show her that I was serious. But to ease in the idea of being a Pagan, I had to invite her into the rituals and the values I had. I let her see that, despite what I call myself or what anyone calls themselves, we all believe in essentially the same thing. We believe in the Divine. The Divine comes to us in different forms. I needed to make that connection with her and she slowly began to understand my choice. Now she still thinks I may end up changing my mind about paganism, which is perfectly alright with me for her to feel that way, but now she has a bit more understanding. It also helped with our connection together as she is one of the most important people in my life and she understood.

Now don’t get me wrong. Sometimes connection is a two way thing. Especially with people and the Divine. Ever heard “it takes two to tango?” But you must work at the connection. If you don’t put in effort, surely the other isn’t going to put in effort. Sometimes the other may not but don’t give up. All connections are worth something. Be it experience and wisdom or just for genuine enjoyment.

~Lumaria Faye~